Friday, September 4, 2009

My life is crazy cause I make it crazy.

Today was a pretty exciting day around here. J-man turned 10, a very big milestone!

He is a decade old.

Double digits.

I think he is officially a tween.

And I have to stop telling people I am 29.

See, I told you it was exciting.

So because it was his birthday, and a school day, we had to go get birthday treats. Baking treats was not an option, because the kitchen is still, well, not usable. So J-man decides that he wants to bring donuts. (Doughnuts? Donuts? Dictionary anyone?) I figure that is a safe, easy treat. Everybody likes donuts, right? So after we got ready for school this morning we head out to get the donuts. It was 8am and we had plenty of time for a slight little pit stop at Starbucks. Mommy needs her fix you know. And then we can go to the grocery store.

There are 29 kids in his class, so that means we need 3 dozen donuts. Guess what? Our grocery store didn’t have 3 dozen. So we got the 22 that they had and went to the other store across the very busy, and under construction, street. Crap, that store didn’t have any. So we got back in the car and headed to the next closest grocery store. They had plenty, so I got the remaining donuts and we headed home.

I was supposed to be home for the appliance deliveries. Eeek! It is now after 9am and they are there! At my house waiting for me! I had to keep apologizing for being late, who knew that a quick run to Starbucks and the store for donuts would take so long! So they start doing their thing and I had to start running around for them – turning on and off breakers, showing them the dead appliance graveyard in the garage and emptying out the refrigerator.

And then the boys tell me its time to go to school. What? 9:30 already? Nope 9:45, RUN! (By the way – I just love late start Fridays – yeah, my eyes are rolling.)

I tell the guys that I will be right back, I have to run the kids and the donuts to school. So the boys and I get back in the car and head to school. When I get to school the boys go to line up, or what ever they do and I head to the office with my stack of donut boxes. Guess what? J-mans class has a nut allergy. So even though I bought a nut free treat, the donuts are made at a store that makes other donuts that have nuts. Cross contamination. Damn. So the donuts can not go in the classroom. J-man doesn’t know this. He is going to be disappointed. I leave one dozen donuts for the office staff and take the others with me, promising them that I will be back with a nut free treat for the class ASAP, but I have to get back home quick because I still have 3 appliance installers at my house. I hope they like donuts!

I head home to bad news. They hooked up the stove and no gas came on. OMG. I am ready to kill me a plumber. I say “Are you sure?” Like they don’t know what they are doing. “I paid a gas plumber to install that gas line with that shut off valve. Did you turn it on?” DUH. Did they turn it on. They start telling me I am going to need the gas company out to turn the gas back on. Ummm, it was never off. All my other gas appliances still work. Then I remembered about the shut off valve outside, got excited and went to flip that switch.

When I got back inside they said it still wasn’t working. Damn. Called the plumber and left a message. I hope I did not sound as b*tchy on the phone as I did in my head.

But then some good news, the fridge was in place, with the water hooked up and it all worked. Ahhhh. Thank you for that one piece of good news. The dishwasher was also in, and working. Amen.

Still do not have nut free treats, or any idea what to get, so I called my friend. Her daughter is also having a birthday and is in J-man’s class and I was supposed to bring the treats for both of them. I left her a message that our donuts got kicked out, the appliance delivery guys were enjoying them, but I need some nut free treat ideas, so I do not disappoint our kids. Please, please call me back.

Of course we were not done with our appliance problems yet, the microwave hood needed to be plugged in. Wha? Huh? Yeah, we had just a fan in that spot before and it only needed the wire that was sticking out of the wall, but this new appliance needs its own plug and breaker. So he installed it, but there was no power source. He left the plug just sort of hanging out in the cupboard above. Damn. I guess 2 out of 4 appliances isn’t too bad, right? Yeah, it is bad. Very bad. So I need a plumber and an electrician. Damn.

Meanwhile – I go to fb and post a plea for nut free snack ideas – and STAT.

Then the plumber calls back. He can be here at 2. Grrrr.

Pretty appliances, huh?

Oreos. Fb friends and the birthday girl’s Mom all agreed that Oreo’s are safe. So I race back to the grocery store, load up on snack packs of Oreo’s and head back to school. I still have a dozen donuts in my car and I am passing a fire station. DING. I park just as a fire truck pulls in. Yes, a crazy lady with a dozen donuts is at your fire station door. I try explaining that the donuts got kicked out of school, but I sounded even crazier, so I just said I wanted to make somebody’s day sweeter. And left. Back to school.

I drop the Oreo’s off without incident. I told them I called Nabisco from the grocery store to confirm that they are made in a nut free plant. And they are. Of course when you call Nabisco they want your name and phone number and e-mail address so they can use you for marketing and research. I said no thanks, I just need the nut info. Grocery store stock boy thinks I am crazy too – who calls Nabisco’s 1-800 number in the aisle of the grocery store? I do, apparently.

So it is now 12:15 I have to be home by 2. I have no gas. And I need to get to Costco to shop for the Cub Scout camp out tomorrow. Do I stop for gas in the neighborhood, or pray I can make it to Costco? Remember – I am crazy. So I am praying all the way to Costco. Please don’t run out of gas, please don’t run out of gas. Luckily my van has this trip computer that has a DTE countdown. Distance til empty? Well I hit the freeway at 10, 9, 8, hit the second freeway at 7. Up the hill, 6, 5, 4, approaching the exit, 3, on the exit 2. Off the freeway 1. So, so close. Still praying. I don’t have time to run out of gas! 0. It says zero and I am still driving.

I pull into Costco and there is a huge line for gas. Of course, its Labor Day weekend and everyone is gassing up to get out of town. At least if I run out of gas in line I can push the van up to the pump. I am sure that the drivers in line behind me will help push because they want their gas too. And if a few more people think I am crazy does it really matter? But I make it. I inch my way up in line to a pump with the thing saying zero for a good 2 miles and about 20 minutes. Good to know for next time. (Just kidding Mitch, I promise never to do that again.)

I got home from Costco safely and in time to meet the plumber. The plumber was able to get gas out of the line and start up the stove. Hmmm. Whatever. I am up to 3 out of 4 appliances working and nobody got hurt.

Time to go back to school! I volunteered this week to help get kindergartners to their buses. It’s like herding cats. So I went to school to herd some cats, I mean kindergartners, and get the boys. I think everyone got home safe from school this week. Even though the crazy lady was there!

Tonight we had a nice dinner out to celebrate J-mans birthday with his Grandparents. I finally relaxed, now that all my running around was done for the day. Phew this was one long day. And phew, this is one long blog post.

Happy Birthday J-man.
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Deb said...

OMG what a day!! Hope you get some rest this weekend! Your appliances are so pretty!!

Laura said...

Chelle- your stories sure are funny! Hope things slow down for you soon.

Amy said...

Chelle, I don't even know what to say. I think I would have imploded right about the time the appliance guy left the wires hanging out of the wall. And if not then, herding the kindergarteners would have definitely put me over the top LOL
Glad you made it through your crazy day! (and your appliances look great!)